Teaching Kids About Sex
One of the important responsibilities of parents is to teach our children about sex and all its associated topics, such as puberty. Of course, this must be done at an age-appropriate level, and this will vary between kids depending on their situations and inquisitiveness! Whenever and however you decide to this, the important thing is that it is done, and done in a proactive manner.
Birds and Bees by the Book
We have found the books by Patricia Weerakoon (a christian ‘sexologist’) to be helpful in this respect. In our family, around the age of 9 seemed like a good time to introduce the series called “Birds and Bees by the Book“. While they appear to be fairly simple picture books, they do address issues surrounding sex head-on and in quite a blunt manner, so I personally didn’t think my kids would need them until this age. I have found them to be great conversation starters and so far our kids have really enjoyed them!
Either Scott or I read them together with the 9-year-old first, then allow them to read them by themselves after. (We feel it’s best for Scott to focus on our son and for me to go through them with our daughters.) Because I didn’t want sex to become a taboo subject, and I wanted to provide further opportunities for discussion in this area as her understanding grew, I decided I would repeat them a few times with my daughter while she’s still too young for the next level of books.
Together or Individually?
Another option would be to just give these books (and future ones) to your son or daughter to read by themselves, which is what I was very tempted to do. I didn’t exactly relish the prospect of talking about sex with my daughter. But I think as parents it’s important that we be brave and tackle the subject together with our kids so they become used to talking about such important issues with us! I realised that I can’t expect my kids to raise such issues if I’m too embarrassed to broach them myself! And we all know how crucial it is for kids to be getting their information and advice from parents who love them rather than peers or media. Better that it’s you doing the teaching from the perspective you choose, rather than friends, TV programmes or the internet. One way or another, they will have to learn about it from somewhere!
As an extra note – we have told our kids not to talk to other kids about it, including their siblings, but that they can always come and ask questions of us anytime.
Next step
The next book I plan to read through with our eldest daughter is also a Patricia Weerakoon one called “Growing Up by the Book” (affiliate link). I intend to read through it myself first to check what we’re in for, but it looks like a good progression.
The one following “Growing Up by the Book” is called “Teen Sex by the Book” (affiliate link). Don’t be put off by its edgy title – these books are all written from a Christian worldview and this one’s subtitle is “A call to countercultural living”. While I haven’t read it yet (something I will definitely be doing before introducing it to my daughter), I am fairly confident that it will be promoting the same values and Biblical standards that we as parents would endorse. However, an advantage of reading it together is the ability to disagree with or fine tune anything that you aren’t totally happy with!
Just Do It!
I’m sure there are plenty of other great resources for addressing this topic. Whatever you use, take courage, pick a time, and make the most of this opportunity to grow in closeness with your child!
