Addressing objections to homeschooling #2
Objection #2: Sheltering
Another criticism often levelled at homeschooling families (and also at Christian schooling) is, “Aren’t you sheltering your children?” This is closely related to the objection of socialisation.
In short, the answer is… yes! But doesn’t every good parent seek to shelter their child to some degree? Is sheltering children necessarily a bad thing? Surely part of our role as parents is to shelter and protect our children from certain aspects of the world until they are ready to face them. Just as a gardener nurtures a seedling before exposing it to the elements.
Protection spectrum
Perhaps it’s a spectrum – at one end there are those parents who overprotect their children, coddling them and wrapping them up in cotton wool. Meanwhile at the other extreme, there are those who don’t shelter their children enough and quickly lose them to the prevailing culture.
The question is, does homeschooling (or Christian schooling) veer too far towards the overprotective end? In some cases, probably yes. Does that mean that homeschooling can’t be done in a way that prepares them well for life? I don’t think so. In fact, homeschooling allows plenty of time with children to address important issues. In a good Christian school, this should be done as part of the Bible program.
Sheltering from what?
What is it homeschoolers are trying to shelter their children from?
Stress
In some cases it might be hard work, accountability and stress. Obviously children need to learn coping skills if they are going to succeed at life. It’s good to have high expectations for children. I think it could be a temptation for homeschoolers to make life a little too easy for their kids, which might well under-prepare them for the stress and deadlines of future study and jobs.
Bullying and peer pressure
Maybe it’s the other naughty and mean children! We do need to be aware of the potential for bullying and negative peer pressure, and consider what effect this might have on our children.
A little unkindness from other children is probably useful for developing a bit of backbone and a thick skin – although believe me, this can easily be found outside of the school environment! I’m sure most parents wouldn’t want their kids facing too much bullying though. I would say getting beaten up is more likely to lead to cynicism and possibly even racism than resilience. Perhaps resilience can be taught via their relationships at home, church and social activities.
As I mentioned in my previous post on Socialisation, the old adage that bad company corrupts good morals is often true. We all hope our kids will have the moral fortitude to stand up for what they know is right, but some will definitely struggle with this more than others. I think it’s a little naive to expect our kids to be bold about their faith and consistently hold to what they know is right, when we ourselves – as adults – struggle with this! But I don’t think learning to fit in with the world via peer pressure is likely to help them be bold. I hope that our kids will be grounded enough in their faith to increasingly deal with this as they grow older.
Harmful ideology
Finally, many homeschoolers are, with good reason, sheltering their kids from the harmful ideology that is promoted in many schools. After all, education is about shaping a child’s worldview. Why else would communist governments be so keen to control schools? It’s the height of naivety to think a school education is limited to learning Maths and English.
However, while it’s great to preserve our children’s innocence for as long as possible, we can’t ignore the world around us. As parents I believe we should tackle worldview and cultural issues head-on, at the appropriate age. It doesn’t help our kids if we merely stick our heads in the sand, hoping they turn out ok.
The difference is, we control the narrative and filter it through our worldview. Hopefully, in this way our children will be prepared for going out into the world, equipped with a knowledge of what’s out there but also having a thoroughly Christian worldview.
Final comments
So in conclusion, yes homeschooling and/or Christian schooling does enable parents to somewhat shelter their children. Perhaps it isn’t always for the best reasons, but sheltering them is part of our responsibility.
The real question is, how much should we shelter them? When are they ready to come up against different worldviews, especially in a way that teaches them as gospel truth? I suppose every child will differ. It’s up to us as parents to make that decision, knowing we are answerable to God.
Links for the other posts in this series:
