What Happened to Etiquette?

My husband and I have been reading the book “Disciplines of a Godly Family” by Kent and Barbara Hughes together. One section was titled “Discipline of Teaching Good Manners”. Wow, it really highlighted for me just how little regard our society has for etiquette and manners these days! Perhaps many would find the suggestions in this chapter old-fashioned and out-dated, but I wonder how much better our society would be if these disciplines were intentionally taught to children by parents?

Here are some examples of manners to teach:

• When introduced to new people, look them in the eyes and say “Nice to meet you” or similar
• Try not to interrupt but if you need to, say “Excuse me for interrupting, but..”
• Don’t brag, exaggerate or pretend to know more than you do
• When someone compliments you, say “Thank you” – don’t belittle the thing complimented or get a big head
• Always address adults by Mr or Mrs or Miss – or for close family friends with Aunty or Uncle
• At mealtime wait until everyone is served and the hostess begins to eat before you begin

There are many more listed than these – including how to be a good house guest and manners for meal time conversation. Plus, plenty more under the categories the examples above are taken from (Introductions, Conversation, Table Manners, Setting the Table, Eating manners).

Besides feeling quite inspired, I also felt slightly rebuked on our manners training so far, which pales in comparison to these lofty goals. I hadn’t realised how casual we’d become, just like the culture we live in. As Christians we should be different; we should aim for more! I feel a renewed zeal to instill good manners and etiquette into our little savages! Never mind that the world has changed, good manners will set them up to be pleasant and considerate human beings. Perhaps it will even impress their future employers or in-laws!